The TV keeps telling me that vipers and other incredibly poisonous snakes, alligators and crocodiles, predatory sharks that take over beaches where people swim, and lethal, invasive, and exponentially more populous, nearly-invisible jellyfish are all animals that are beautiful and need to be protected and not hunted and killed.
They've been on the planet, evolving, for millions and millions of years. Smooth-voiced narrators on the Discovery Channel and other channels say this like it gives the toxic bastards some sort of right to slither, swim, roll, and stomp all over the planet; MORE of a right than humans.
If they've been on the plane for millions and millions of years, I say, they've had a good run. It's time to phase the fuckers out so they can't bite us and sting us and rip us and eat us up any more.
I have a pretty smooth voice. Maybe I'll make my OWN documentary, explaining the dynamic of hunter vs. hunted, and how when a species becomes the PREY, it's okay to fight back and kill whatever is trying to EAT you.
Give me a fucking break. Sharks are awesome animals, but if one tries to bite me, you can bet your sweet ass I'm going to cut its fucking head off and mail it to fucking PETA.
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